Tag Archives: Ending

All Posts, Blog

A home to belong

2 Comments

The last couple months have been a bit of a whirlwind for me and the family.

In July 2023 we completed the final ‘lasts’ in West Sussex – saying goodbye to churches, colleagues and friends. A painful and difficult experience!

then through August we finished packing, saw all our worldly possessions loaded – and then unloaded – and we began to unpack everything again.

In September our girls started a new school, and I began serving in my new appointment, serving in the Dorking and Horsham Methodist circuit two-thirds time, and serving one-third time as an assistant chair in the South East District of the Methodist Church.

Threaded throughout that whirlwind of a journey has been a rumbling question I’ve been pondering and praying about – where do I belong?

This week someone ended an email to me with the following words:

Hope Leatherhead is beginning to feel like home!

And actually, I can say it has – but it’s been a bit of a journey!

Coming to terms with God’s calling me to move on from my ministry in West Sussex was a challenge to come to terms with. Even as I made the decision in May 2022 and told congregations, it wasn’t really what I personally wanted. I was 100% sure it was what God was calling of me, and I was willing to follow God’s lead – but it took a long time to come to terms with this myself.

West Sussex, and particualrly the communities of Bognor Regis, Westergate and Felpham, had become family to me. We’d journeyed through so much together, and coming to the decision to say I would be moving on felt like I was severing the ties that bind us. The decision to move on began to impact my own sense of belonging… and I began to feel adrift at sea, not sure what my heading was.

It wasn’t until November 2023 when I was invited to visit Dorking and Horsham circuit that I began to feel a heading, and re-finding my ships anchor! Despite the unexpectedness of the match – the role was not exactly what I’d been expecting, and the geography wasn’t exactly what we’d have intially desired either – we felt such a strong sense of God’s hand on us, that we knew it was where God was calling us to be.

Cue 10 months of preparation, lasts and endings, and comnig to terms with letting go on all that was in West Sussex, in readiness to take up ministry in the communities of Leatherhead, Cobham and Effingham, as well as the wider South East Methodist District.

By the end of July, I would say that despite the pain of goodbyes, I felt I’d ended well. I felt I had left the appointment in as strong a place as I could, and held felt such a strong presence of God holding me in those last months. I’d been able to spend 10 months encouraging, thanking and building up the amazing people I had belonged with, which had been a privilege. But letting go and moving on means belonging

Then, an interlude to all the moving – a week serving on team at Satellites, a youth camp and festival that was entering it’s second year. One might think going away for a week, just a few days before you move house is a foolish thing to do – but for me it was absolutely the best thing.

It took me out of all the letting go for a few days, and I got immerse myself serving with am amazing team of people to whom, despite never meeting many of them before, within hours felt to be a family. A family to whom, for a week of the year, we serve together and belong.

Driving home afterwards, felt weird. The move was a few days away, and I’d loved the week serving on team – and belonging to the Satellite family. As I drove into Bognor Regis, I felt weird. I can only describe it as feeling like I was driving through somewhere you used to live. There is a sameness, but yet a differentness to it. As i drove into Bognor, I felt like this wasn’t home any more.

It was as if, I’d sort of already moved mentally, emotionally, spiritually – and for me it was just the physical move left to do.

On the one hand that was really hard because I felt out of place. On the other, it felt like a gift, because through all the endings and lasts, God was helping me prepare to move on.

And then as I entered the front door – what greeted me but tear-inducing posters from my girls!

WELCOME HOME DAD

You love us and care for us and look after us. You are so kind.

You tell us what is going on whatever it is.

You don’t let us down at all.

You cheer us up when we are sad!

Dad, we love you loads.

As I walked through the door with the complex feelings of belonging driving in to Bognor Regis had brought – God immediately gave me the answer.

Where do I belong? Among the people God places me among. For a time it had been in West Sussex, now it was to be among people in Surrey, but always it is among the family which God has gifted me.

I don’t think my girls will ever know just how powerfully God worked through them that day. Louise, my wife, had had nothing to do with it aside from taking the photo’s. She wasn’t allowed in the room which they did their secret project! God is amazing, my girls are amazing. My family is such a special gift, to whom I can belong.

So is Leatherhead beginning to feel like home?

Definitely! We’ve been so wonderfully welcomed, and the month of firsts has been another whirlwind – but a whirlwind of joy, affirmation, encouragement and anticipation for the journey with God that is ahead of us.

But more than that, home is among the people – the people God has called me to serve, and the among the family God has gifted me. And I commit to cherish both.

All the while – being constantly assured that God is always with me, and will never leave me.

NB – header image is of our first homecooked meal in our new home.

All Posts, Blog

Keep on believing

1 Comment

Part 1 of a 3-part series reflecting on the ending(s) of John’s Gospel, chapters 20 & 21.

PDF Download

11-4-21-keep-on-believingDownload

Full Text

Do you ever get stuck knowing how to end a letter or an email? I don’t write letters very often, but send many emails, and often pause as I end wondering what the most appropriate ending might be. ‘Every blessing’, ‘best wishes’, ‘regards’, ‘in Christ’. Since the pandemic began I often use ‘in peace and hope’.

I find it fascinating that 2 of the 4 gospels in the bible sort of have 2 endings. Mark has a shorter and longer ending in chapter 16 – depending on which original texts you look at. Often our bibles make this clear with headings and footnotes.

Headings and footnotes don’t usually appear in the same way in John – but it is also thought to have a first and second ending. When we read it, chapter 20 feels to have a natural end – but then, goes on with chapter 21. Many scholars think (though not all!) that chapter 21 was added to the text of John’s gospel at some stage after the first version of the gospel was created.

Stories

All the gospels – Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are stories of persuasion and intrigue and encouragement. Stories of the life of Jesus, the impact he had on the communities he travelled through, and the lives he touched and transformed.

Each gospel comes from a different perspective and was written for differing communities and audiences. Some repeat stories told in other gospels; others hold stories unique only to them. Few stories occur in all 4.

After telling its version of the story – John’s gospel comes to its first end as we read the last verses of John 20:

“Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.”     

John 20:30-31
Keep on believing

The phrase interpreted here as ‘may come to believe’ can equally be interpreted as may continue believing, or keep on believing.

Some scholars believe this second translation is in fact the one intended by John’s author. They argue that one of the key principles of John’s gospel is that it was written not only to persuade and encourage people to believe, but equally, if not primarily, to encourage and sustain the continuing believing of a persecuted and struggling community, who were not the original witnesses to its story.

The text we now call John’s gospel comes from, probably, around 70AD, 40 or so years on from Jesus’ ministry. The text therefore comes from a point in history where the Jesus-story was being passed on from the original witness to the next generation. This generation, who’s faith up to now had been sustained by the original witnesses, were now themselves the custodians of the story. These custodians needed encouragement to continue believing the story and sharing its life-giving power with others, despite the fact they were not original witnesses.

2000 years on, the story continues to be passed on, so I think we can say they did an ok job.

Promised Presence

Before we get to this first ending of the gospel, we have read another important story –Jesus’ post-resurrection appearance to the disicples.

They are locked in a room together, grieving, fearful, lost. And into that room filled with uncertainty and fear Jesus appears and says, “peace be with you.” and breathes on them saying “Receive the Holy Spirit”.

John’s gospel begins with the word that was with God and was God (1:1) – who comes to dwell among us (1:14). An echo of the story of origin that we find in Genesis 1. Now, as we reach a climax to John’s gospel the word that was made flesh and dwelt among us, now breathes the very presence of God upon us.

This promised presence flows throughout the story that is John’s gospel. In chapter 14 Jesus promises the comforter will come to remind what Jesus has taught them and continue teaching more of the story to the community. (John 14:26)

The story lives on

John’s gospel reminds us that what we read in scripture is not the whole story – that the gospel story lives on through the very presence of God – the Holy Spirit – living among us. There is more the be taught, more to be reminded, more to be said. [hence, perhaps, chapter 21 gets added in!]

If the story lives on among us and within us, that means our stories become part of the gospel story – the good news story – that is the transforming life and love of Jesus among us.

So while here in John we are told here is enough of the story that you can believe and keep on believing, by God’s presence with us and in us we too have our own stories to tell of how our human story and God’s story have entwined. Stories of our experince of our lives transformed by the transforming life of Christ.

These stories we can share remind us and witness to the truth that God’s presence is with us, and they encourage us and others to keep on believing.

So friends, what story are you going to tell today?