A poem I wrote while preparing to lead Blue Christmas at Leatherhead Methodist Church in 2024 – a service to feel what we feel during the Christmas season.

When December Comes

We turn the page on November,
and so its time for December to begin,
and with it comes a cacophony,
of stuff and tasks and things.

There’s activity, the lists of jobs,
the shopping, gifts and treats,
planning who we’ll see, and when,
and then there’s what we’ll eat.

But inside, there’s something else,
that I don’t what to ignore,
but I don’t know what to do with it,
because feelings are hard to explore.

they say Christmas is a season
of joy, peace, hope and love,
but with it comes some memories
that for me, don’t hold that stuff.

They’re feelings that I can’t hold back,
but sometimes struggle to figure out,
they hurt, in ways I can’t express,
God knows what they’re about.

So here I am, with how I feel,
acknowledging it all.
Amidst my noise, my inner thoughts,
my feelings, all a whirl.

You say that Jesus Christ was born
to be God with us, Emmanuel,
Lord amidst my noise and thoughts,  
would you come to me and dwell.

Right now, I don’t need fixing,
I’m not broken, I’m not weak.
I’m just a human being,
being honest in how speak.

So Lord this prayer I offer,
is simple on your part.
May I just know that you are with me,
may I know it, in my heart.